


Bullshit

by RebelxPen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Going to battle, Here there be feels, I suck at ratings and tags, Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Ragnarok, prepare thyself, rated T for language? I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6857251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelxPen/pseuds/RebelxPen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by my discovery that Jane will not be in Thor: Ragnarok. This is Thor telling her she can't go with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bullshit

He stood still and silent as his blue eyes watched her face fall and her anger rise. She was like a storm, a hurricane trapped within a small, fierce form. He wanted nothing more than to take it back, to reach out and brush the tears from her face, but where he was going, he did not dare let her follow, though he had no doubt she would be just as fierce as any warrior at his side. 

“This is bullshit.” 

The crass word fell from her lips and felt like a lash upon his back. 

“You can’t do this. What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and wait? Wondering if you’re alive or not?” 

She would come no nearer, and the distance between them felt like a galaxy already. He straightened his shoulders, a poor attempt at shoring up his resolve. 

“Jane,” he said, wishing his voice to be firmer. 

She whirled on him and stopped her pacing to point a small finger at his face. “No! Don’t do that, don’t try and talk to me like I don’t know what’s coming, because I do! I know!” 

“But, you don’t!”

The rage tangled with his fear and thunder clapped so loudly overhead that she covered her ears. He took a moment to collect himself, his eyes sliding shut as he breathed in slowly and let it out through his nose. When he looked at her again, he felt as though he were crumbling.

“You do not know what is to come, Jane,” he told her. 

He held her gaze, ice blue on earthy brown, and his jaw clenched along with his fist as he fought the urge to go to her. But if he knew anything about this small mortal, Thor knew she was wild, and to crowd her now would be to chase her away. 

“What is to come has been foretold to be the end of the world, what my brother seeks to set in motion is beyond anything we have faced together yet, and--”

“--And I saw your death painted in those damn books on Asgard!” she growled through gritted teeth. 

Her eyes were flooding now, filling to the brim with desperation, with frustration, and Thor wondered if this would be how she looked when she grieved for him.

“You’re going to your death, and you’ve already got it in your head that it’s going to happen,” she said, her shoulders slumping with the weight of the world. 

In that moment, all the fight drained out of her and Thor felt his heart break. 

“That’s the problem,” she went on. “I’ve seen you face things, I’ve seen you fight, and you don’t know how to stop. You give,” she shook her head with a helpless, broken shrug. “ _everything_ of yourself, and you fight with all you have and you don’t think about the end of it. You don’t think about what happens if you don’t come back, but I know, okay? I know what happens, Thor, and--” 

Her entire frame shook with emotion, and she backed away from him another step, her hands coming up to cover her face--to hide. 

“Jane,” he said her name softly like a prayer on his lips. “I do not leave you because I wish to, but this battle,” his voice ached against the lump in his throat. “I do this to protect you, and I could not live with myself if I were to put you in such danger.” 

She stared at him, and she looked more tired in that moment than he had ever known her to be. 

“And what about you?” she asked. “I’ve seen you fight giant metal men, I’ve seen you fight dragon sized aliens, I’ve seen you fight dark elves, and more evil robots--” she took a step closer now, just one, and froze. “In New Mexico I watched you almost die, and in England you almost got crushed, and--” 

He could keep away no longer. In two long strides, he was at her side, kneeling before her with his hands hovering, gripping her thin shoulders, her waist, and then he reached up and took her small hands in both of his and kissed her fingers.

“You cannot shield me from this threat, Jane Foster,” he told her gently, his own eyes wet as he sought hers. “You cannot shield me from this as you did that ship, or stay by my side as you did against the Destroyer when we first met.” 

Large tears spilled down her cheeks, and a stifled sob shook her body. He kissed her fingers again. 

“You have changed me, my dear Jane,” he told her. “You have made me want to be a better man--not only a god, or a king, but a man, and you will have my heart forever. But now--” his voice thickened with emotion, and she only wept more with every word. “--now it is for me to shield you. It is time for me to ensure your safety, and your well being, and though you might hate me for it, I would rather you hate me and live, than watch you die while I live knowing I could have prevented it.”  

 Her hands curled around his fingers, squeezing tightly as she dropped her eyes. She struggled with expressing feelings, with emotions. She was a woman of action, and not of words, and Thor saw her struggle at war in her eyes right now, felt it in the grip of her hands. 

“What am I supposed to do?” she asked. “I don’t know what to do.” 

He tugged her closer, eye to eye with her on his knees like this. “You shall remember our time together fondly, and smile for what we shared, and then you will someday meet another and be happy as you deserve.” 

A wretched noise tore itself from her throat, a deep sob rattling in her chest as if gasping for her last breath. “I can’t do that,” she said. “I can’t stay here wondering if you’re alive or not. I can’t do that again,” she stammered, stepping closer and tearing her hands away to grip his shoulders. “How--you don’t have to come back, okay? You don’t have to, but promise me you’ll at least send word--you’ll make sure I know--” 

Her panic twisted in his chest like a knife and his large hands came up to frame her face, smoothing back her hair as he leaned up to kiss her brow. “Heimdall--” he said. “Heimdall will bring you word. I give you my word, Jane,” he promised.

Slowly, shaking like a leaf, she brought a hand up and pressed her forehead to his as she pet his beard. “I--” she choked, biting her lower lip. “I love you, okay?” 

A sharp breath stopped in his chest, and his massive arms wrapped around her tiny waist as he pulled her close. She cradled his face between her hands as he looked up at her, not letting go. 

“I know I never said it enough, I’m sorry, just--you just have to know how much I love you, okay? Do you know that?” 

A shuddering groan rumbled up from his chest, and he reached up to tangle a hand in her hair as he brought their lips close. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice wavering. “I know, Jane. I know.” 

Their lips melted together, and they pressed still closer, as if in that kiss, they might become one and not part. When it finally broke, they remained there, nose to nose, breath to breath, and eyes closed. 

“I will return to you,” he said, and she groaned and shook her head. 

“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

He tangled his hands in her hair again, making her look at him. “ _I will return to you if I can,”_ he said firmly. “ _And I will rend the heavens to do so if I must.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Yep. I didn't need those feels. Sorry/not sorry.


End file.
